So we had a big conversation last night, and I'm not sure what to make of it. Something along the lines of 'I'm happy but could I be happier?' seemed to be the message from my lover. He can see us happy in future but doesn't know if we could be happier still if we weren't together. I don't know. I'm actually really not that happy these days. I could probably be happier without him. Certainly without all this uncertainty.