Monday, August 30, 2010
Hmmmm
So we had a big conversation last night, and I'm not sure what to make of it. Something along the lines of 'I'm happy but could I be happier?' seemed to be the message from my lover. He can see us happy in future but doesn't know if we could be happier still if we weren't together. I don't know. I'm actually really not that happy these days. I could probably be happier without him. Certainly without all this uncertainty.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Country
So these days I'm living in a small country town, about 10 000 people -is that small? Feels like it to me. Working as a junior doctor in a surgical rotation, which means lots of theatre time and lots of great learning.
Also newly in possession of a slow cooker so lots of culinary adventures to come there too. Made rogan josh last week - not my best work but pretty good in terms of making the whole house smell like an Indian diner.
Living with my lover - for one whole week we've happily resided in a single room. I think it all fits, in every sense - our stuff, our personalities, our relationship. Although this morning we had a tiff over my raspberry and white chocolate muffins (his favourite) and his lack of communication skills. He raised his voice and I called him a jerk. Nice. Maybe we deserve one another.
I really hate losing my shit like that. I need to learn how to be less moody and sweeter. I really do try but at times, I just do not succeed. Besides, I secretly feel that hardly anyone has ever called my lover on when he's been a jerk. Which to be fair, is really very infrequent and it's also not his intention. It just comes across that way sometimes to a sensitive type like me.
Maybe this is still the learning phase. Is this how we learn about each other? When we're not making the other person happy? and I learn that I'm too reactive, and he's not the greatest communicator but I don't need to react to that? I think I need to give him more space to be his grumpy self, if that's what he needs.
Also newly in possession of a slow cooker so lots of culinary adventures to come there too. Made rogan josh last week - not my best work but pretty good in terms of making the whole house smell like an Indian diner.
Living with my lover - for one whole week we've happily resided in a single room. I think it all fits, in every sense - our stuff, our personalities, our relationship. Although this morning we had a tiff over my raspberry and white chocolate muffins (his favourite) and his lack of communication skills. He raised his voice and I called him a jerk. Nice. Maybe we deserve one another.
I really hate losing my shit like that. I need to learn how to be less moody and sweeter. I really do try but at times, I just do not succeed. Besides, I secretly feel that hardly anyone has ever called my lover on when he's been a jerk. Which to be fair, is really very infrequent and it's also not his intention. It just comes across that way sometimes to a sensitive type like me.
Maybe this is still the learning phase. Is this how we learn about each other? When we're not making the other person happy? and I learn that I'm too reactive, and he's not the greatest communicator but I don't need to react to that? I think I need to give him more space to be his grumpy self, if that's what he needs.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The Greenest Leaves
A new blog!
Celebrating the greenest of the green, the most beautiful colour of all, and hopefully the colour of most of my garden.
Celebrating the greenest of the green, the most beautiful colour of all, and hopefully the colour of most of my garden.
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